When there's a new baby on the way, expectant parents tend to spend a boat-load of time preparing for the baby, and even preparing to be new parents; which is great! However, it's also really important to prepare for how this little bundle of joy is going to affect your relationship.
Trust me, it isn't all sunshine, rainbows, and pacifiers; it's hard work! Preparing your relationship for this huge tide shift should be just as important as preparing for the baby, and if you do so in advance, you just might find that you'll have more focus as new parents once the baby comes.
Baby
Sleep Now & Enjoy It
As expectant parents you should just go ahead and revel in the delight of sleep, because it will be in short supply once you make the transition into being new parents. Enjoy that you get to sleep together-at the same time-and start discussing how this will change, how you will handle it, and how important it will be that both of you have it. This kind of mental preparation and pre-planning will keep any arguments about who gets more sleep, or who should get more sleep, out of your relationship once baby gets here.
Go Ahead & Pre-Discuss "Taking Breaks from Baby"
New Parents tend to feel like they're being bad parents when they inevitably need a break from the baby. Dump the guilt! Everyone needs a break!
Discuss this now and set up a game plan for keeping each other sane, and for nipping any "burn outs" in the bud before they occur. Plan on once a week dates -a meal together, a movie, just time alone. Ask family to babysit, or find a good babysitter. You only need a couple of hours away to breathe new life into your relationship.
Hey Mom-He's the Dad, Not a "Third Wheel"
New moms can get very focused on their child and understandably so. This becomes a problem when dad starts to feel left out of the "cool kids" crowd. Being aware, as a new mom, can prevent hurt feelings before they happen.
I'm a New Mom-Not a Sex-kitten!
For new moms, it's very normal for you to not feel as frisky as you did pre-baby. You're sleep-deprived and at someone's beck and call 24/7. Expectant parents should expect your sex life to take a hit for at least 6 months after baby arrives. It's very simple: expect it! You can make it easier on each other by relating with thoughtfulness, touch, hug, hold hands, even if it doesn't lead to sex. Plan those intimate times -yes- put them in your calendar. Get a babysitter and spend time alone.
Everyone Suddenly Has an Opinion
As new parents, expect family, friends, and even co-workers, to come out of the woodwork armed and ready with a slew of parenting advice. Trust your own instincts and make your own decisions. That isn't to say that you shouldn't be open to advice and listen to guidance, but only you know what's right for your family.
Share the Work Load-Compromise & Problem Solve Together
Expectant parents should strategize and plan ahead! Right now, you know exactly what kind of jobs you have, how much work around the house needs to be done, especially if you already have other children. You know who's getting up to breastfeed in the middle of the night. So, discuss a game plan. Make a schedule, assign duties, and make it a joint effort that both of you can agree upon-be willing to make compromises! Studies show that when dads are involved, new moms suffer less from depression.
Be Flexible and Lower Your Expectations!
Hey guys, you're new parents! Congratulations! This is a wonderful thing for, and a challenge to, your relationship. Adversity and challenges are going to come up, sure, but if you can be flexible and lower your expectations of each other, you'll be able to revel in the bliss, charm, and magic of being new parents.
As new parents,don't get bogged down by worries about the transition to come. With a bit of foresight and give and take, you'll be able to handle any changes that come your way!
How to Prepare Your Relationship for a New Baby
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Disclaimer: The information contained in this article is for educational purposes only and should not be used for diagnosis or to guide treatment without the opinion of a health professional. Any reader should contact a licensed medical professional regarding their own condition.