Modern thoughts about childbirth span from birth being an incredibly painful experience, to birth being an almost magical experience. Maybe the reality is somewhere in between, maybe it's not. The point is, you don't want to think about childbirth by rating it on a scale of pain or magically having no pain. So how should you think of it?
Childbirth Isn't Something to Be Endured
Baby
First, you need to realize how you shouldn't think about giving birth. Most of us are conditioned, even from an early age, to fear birth. We see comedy shows where a mom in labor exaggerates her pain (and her anger at her husband)... and we're trained to laugh about it!
We hear birth stories about the horrible agony of our mothers, aunts, and all of their friends when they were giving birth. Many of these stories are accompanied by sordid tales of babies who are lucky to be alive -- only here thanks to the saving work of doctors.
Of course, on the other side of these stories and exaggerated Hollywood scenes there's a complete silence. Women just don't talk about birth unless it's in a negative way. Even when we hear stories about ancestors, ancient legends, or religious accounts, the focus is only on the hardship. It's never the celebration. Silence and pain are hard things to get around.
Painless Birth Isn't the Goal
You don't want to dwell in silent ignorance or be caught up in the terror of pain. But you don't want to idolize or idealize a pain-free, transcendent birth experience. Giving birth is a pretty down-to-earth thing.
You're not less of a woman if you do find birth to be an intense experience. And as much as I want all women to feel joy during their births, you can still have a great birth even if you don't like it -- even if you feel pain!
You can use methods and techniques for a painless birth. That's great. But don't feel that somehow your experience might be less than somebody who describes her birth a "painless" or "ecstatic". You can have a great birth even if it's challenging.
The Goal of Natural Childbirth
The goal of natural childbirth is to bring your baby into the world safely and naturally. It's that simple -- your goal is to work with your baby.
Turning your focus towards your baby doesn't minimize your experience at all, nor does it lead to a mentality of "get the baby out regardless of how the mother feels." Rather, it empowers you to work with your baby.
You move away from unhealthy focuses such as pain, which cause you to simply want to escape from the birth experiences. You also avoid feeling inferior as you strive to fit somebody else's definition of ecstatic birth.
When you focus on your baby and helping him or her move down through your pelvis and birth canal, that helps both of you. This focus starts now, during pregnancy, as you gain awareness of the stages of birth, possible interventions, and how to position your baby for a smooth birth. You also discover how you feel most open and what positions help your baby move down the most quickly and safely.
The focus of natural childbirth moves away from "drug-free" pain relief to the wonderful work you and baby do together during your birthing time. Thinking about and working with your baby keeps you confident and in control... and it gives your baby the safest, smoothest natural birth possible.
How to Think About Natural Childbirth
By the way, do you want to learn more about how to have a healthy pregnancy, free of complications, and develop skills that will let you go into labor relaxed, confident, and feeling prepared?
If so, download my free guide: Three Births: Which Is Yours?
You'll get my guide and information packed with helpful tips and ideas for a great childbirth experience and how to care for yourself and your baby during your healthy pregnancy (and enjoy it!).