How to Leave a Lasting Impression on People

During the Vietnam War an American platoon was situated down in some rice paddies, in the heat of a fire fight with the Vietcong. All of a sudden a line of six monks started walking in between the gun fire. They didn't look right or left towards either of the soldiers they just kept walking calmly and peacefully across the battle field. Interestingly enough not one person from either side fired a shot at them... One of the American soldiers recalled the incident as one of the most bizarre experiences of his life as, after they walked past, suddenly all the fight was out of him. He said that, all of a sudden he just didn't feel like he wanted to fight anymore, at least certainly not that day. It must have also been the same way for the Vietcong because they too just stopped fighting...

On a less dramatic level we all regularly experience this strange yet powerful emotional transfer when we are around other people...

Stephen King

When we meet someone who is so enthusiastic and passionate about what they do it's almost impossible for some of it to not rub off on us and change the way we feel...

On the flip side this can also happen in a negative way... I'm sure we all know someone who seems to have the uncanny ability to put a negative spin on everything and suck the emotional life out of everyone they meet...

The importance of being aware of the types and levels of emotional states people are in and how to influence them cannot be understated... We like to think of ourselves as logical, rational beings but in reality we are not... We tend to make most of our decisions through feelings and emotion and then we back them up afterwards through logic and reason...

The monk's ability to pacify the soldiers in the heat of the battle is probably one of the more dramatic examples of how contagious emotions can be. On a more subtle level, however, emotional exchange occurs in practically every conversation we are involved in... So it goes without saying that learning how to manage this exchange is incredibly important...

In 1994 Elaine Hatfield, John T Caciocco and Richard L Rapson wrote a book called 'Emotional Contagion' that focused on this phenomenon of emotional transfer. What they found was that in any social interaction there is a tendency for some of the participants to naturally mimic another person's expressions, vocalizations, movements and postures and consequently become infected by that persons' emotional state. They also found that if it is a large group of people, and the infection reaches critical mass, the intensity experienced by those infected increases significantly.

This goes a long way to understanding how Martin Luther King managed to spread a feeling of love and self worth amongst most of the black community or how Barack Obama became President of the USA by filling people full of optimism and hope for the future...

So does that mean, in order to make an impression emotionally, you have to be all happy, happy, high energy and positive around people every minute of the day?

Not at all... In fact, from experience if being happy, positive and full of energy is all you're about then it could eventually have a negative effect with a lot of people...

It's what I like to call the Club 18-30 syndrome... For those of you who don't know, Club 18-30 is a British holiday company who pride themselves in their upbeat, high energy, positive approach to holidaying... If you've ever been to one of these holidays you'll know that the holiday rep spends pretty much every minute of their time whipping you up into a frenzy and then plying you full of as much alcohol as possible...

Of course, this might be for some people but most can only take a certain amount of this before feeling an irresistible urge to throttle the host!

Now obviously people tend to be attracted to people who are positive, happy and up beat but if that's all you're about then it can become tediously familiar and, for some, irritatingly condescending... You may not mean it to be like that but trust me, that's how a lot of people react to it...

What I am suggesting is that you have a bit more depth... Develop the ability of having a range of emotions you can go into, express and lead people through while still maintaining a positive, happy base...

When you get down to it, it's the basis of most charismatic leaders...

The ability to make people feel good about themselves and the future while leading them through a whole range of emotions both positive and sometimes negative... In doing so they relate and touch people in ways that most people don't...

It's a bit like watching a really good movie... The most enjoyable movies are the ones that touch you deep inside and move you in ways that you can't quite describe verbally but know that you feel within...

Stanley Kubrick once said that, "A film is - or should be - more like music than like fiction. It should be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what's behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later."

The same is true when it comes to social interaction... Put simply, the success and fulfilment of a relationship between two or more people is largely dependant on the emotions and feelings they feel when with each other...

That by developing the ability to lead people through a wide range of emotions you will impact them at a level that most people don't and leave an impression that stays with them long after you leave...

How to Leave a Lasting Impression on People

Steven Burns is known as 'The People's Coach' and is an NLP Trainer, Coach & Hypnotherapist. Following the end of his 9 and 1/2 relationship he decided to specialize in helping people let go of social anxiety and become more confident and skilled in all aspects of socializing. You can find Steven's latest work at The Guide to Social Confidence

Understanding the Baby Soft Spot

Most people are unaware that babies actually have a baby soft spot on the top of the head which is diamond or kite shaped (anterior fontanel) and another one at the back of the head which is triangular (posterior fontanel).

A newborn soft spot exists where the skull has not completely closed at birth. The anterior fontanel is generally about two inches wide and can remain to some degree until the baby is around eighteen months of age. The posterior fontanel is only half an inch wide and closes relatively quickly between the ages of six to twelve weeks.


A baby soft spot is very important to the baby's wellbeing. First, the gap in the skull makes the baby's journey down the birth canal easier because it allows the head to change shape. For example, you may have seen a baby born with a cone shaped head. The fontanel also allows the head to return to a normal shape after the birth. Second, baby soft spots allow the brain to grow and develop during the first year of life. A baby's brain grows very quickly during the first year of life and needs room to grow. Once closed, a skull cannot stretch or expand.

The baby's newborn soft spot is also used by doctors to help with diagnosis when your baby is unwell. A depressed fontanel, for example, indicates dehydration while a bulging fontanel can be a symptom of meningitis. A swollen fontanel could also be a sign of other infection. If a baby soft spot is either depressed or swollen, you need to have the baby checked by a pediatrician. When the baby is well, the fontanel will expand and move as the baby moves, breathes, laughs or cries.

Since there is no skull over the baby soft spot protecting the baby's brain, you need to be extra careful around that area. It is particularly important to ensure that older siblings do not push down on the fontanel when playing with baby. However, having said this, many people are overly worried about their baby's soft spots and afraid to touch the area for fear of doing damage. The fact is the baby soft spot actually protects the baby from most common forms of damage. The soft membrane cushions the brain so that he or she is protected from common baby falls and risks. Although the fontanel is soft, it is made of a tough, fibrous membrane. It is the uncommon accidents or pressures that become more dangerous without a closed skull, not the normal bumps and falls of babies learning to crawl and walk.

However, if you are concerned about your baby's newborn soft spot for any reason, ask your doctor at the baby's next check-up. This will alleviate any concerns you may have and make sure that your baby is healthy and well.

Understanding the Baby Soft Spot

Read more helpful and safety guides to help you raise a happy and healthy child.

Marketing For Authors

Authors - especially business authors - are often subject matter experts. They are authorities in their fields. As such, they have something of value to contribute, and so, they write. And if they're lucky, their work is published, at which point, having said their piece, they should be comfortable trusting their success entirely to their publisher. Right?

Wrong. As the "maker" of their "product," writers have a tremendous opportunity to "market" themselves, in the very traditional sense of the word....without conflicting, in any way, with the roles of their publisher, their agent, their promoter or their publicist.

Stephen King

In 1960, E. Jerome McCarthy introduced his seminal "4 Ps" approach to marketing. McCarthy divided the marketing process to four areas: product, price, promotion, and placement. Simply put, "product" is what you sell, "price" is how much you charge, "promotion" is how you tell people about your product, and "placement" is how you get your product to market. McCarthy's simplistic approach provides a gentle roadmap for the marketing novice (and the seasoned marketer as well). A better understanding of the "first P" - product - quickly illustrates the author's marketing role in his own success.

On the surface, your "product" is your work: an article, a poem, a book. And in the simplest terms, this is correct. But as an author, your product is much, much more.

Let's assume, for the sake of this article, that you have written a book. Chances are, as you wrote your book, you had an end product in mind. You may have visualized your product by its genre: a novel, a history, a reference manual, whatever. You may have imagined your book as a manuscript, a first edition, or a seasoned bestseller now available in paperback, hardbound, and digital form. You may have even thought of your book as a set of technical specifications (type size, paper quality, cover design, etc.). All of these perspectives would be legitimate as inspiration, and each would provide a different set of guidelines for development.

Now let's further assume that you had set out to write a novel - specifically a horror novel. Being well-read yourself, you were no doubt familiar with other authors. Some of them you may have considered inspiration, some you held in such great contempt that you secretly feared your work would be compared with theirs. Either way, you probably knew, well in advance of typing your first word, who your "competition" would be - from a product standpoint.

But to think of your product as an object - even one of great imagination - would do great disservice to your potential for success, because your product is not as tangible as any of these considerations would suggest.

Let's step outside the "4 Ps" structure, for a moment, to consider another important marketing concept: Brand. Unlike a product, "brand" is completely intangible. It is a perception: a concept that exists in the mind of the consumer. You can't touch it, and you usually can't smell it, but it's definitely there.

If you were to ask a room full of people which automobile manufacturer was synonymous with "safety", a good number of them might say "Volvo." Now, we all know that Volvo manufactures cars, not safety. But in the process of making cars, Volvo has developed a reputation for making "safe" cars, and in the mind of the consumer, "safety" is the Volvo brand.

Brand has amazing power. It taps into rational and emotional aspects of the consumer's decision-making process, and distinguishes one product from another. Consumers who are familiar with a company's brand will draw conclusions about that company's product, even before they have seen the product.

In your case, you probably didn't set out to "make" your brand, either; rather, you probably set out to "make" a horror novel. But in the process of developing your novel, you adopted a style, and this style - whether you know it or not - is about to become your brand.

When you were considering your "competitors" as a writer of horror novels, you doubtless thought of a fellow named Stephen King. King is the master of horror. Horror is the King brand. Any reader familiar with King's work, upon seeing a new cover in the bookstore bearing the King name, immediately knows what to expect from the book.

Yes, brand is powerful. But more importantly, brand lasts! Imagine you were walking through a bookstore 20 years after reading Carrie and Cujo and The Shining­, and you came across a new bedtime story by Stephen King. Would you take it home and read it to your 3-year old?

Here is the great paradox of marketing: "Your brand is not your product, but your product is your brand." Almost no one sets out to "make" a brand. (Well, if you're a brand strategist, that's exactly what you do, but most people "make" thinks like books, or sneakers, or earth-moving equipment.) But in the process of making their "product," they also develop a brand. And in time, the brand becomes more powerful than the product itself, until, eventually, the only thing the consumer knows about you - even before you make your next product - is your brand.

The message for authors is simple: Take control of your marketing; own your product; make your brand.

And write carefully.

Marketing For Authors

This article was adapted from a presentation written by Laura Pasternak, for the 2010 Berrett-Koehler Book Marketing Workshop hosted by ASTD (the American Society of Training and Development). It is one in a trilogy of articles, including "Branding for Authors", "Marketing for Authors" and "Glaring, Glittering, Garish, Gitomer!" - all available online through

Laura Pasternak is Principal and Chief Brand Strategist at MarketPoint, LLC, a brand management firm that helps businesses improve results by identifying, integrating and managing customer-driven brand equities and strategies. Visit or call 1.866.21POINT toll-free to learn more.

Three Ways To Communicate With Unborn Baby

Would you like to find out more about tips on communication with unborn baby? The information in the article below comes from my personal experience with special knowledge and training about the ways to communicate with unborn baby or foetus.

The more reliable information about ways on communication with foetus you know, the more likely you are equipped with the knowledge to communicate with your unborn baby.


Consistency in communication

Communication is a learned behaviour. Consistency is an essential factor here to communicate with your foetus. For instance, I remember saying to my unborn baby, "Would you like to listen to music? If 'yes', kick once and if 'no', kick twice."

Sometimes, he kicked once and at other times there was no response because the message might not have reached him or he might have been too tired to respond. We need to be more patient and wait for a suitable moment to communicate with he or she again. It is important that we see that simply as a natural thing and not get too stressed up or come to a conclusion that something is wrong. Being calm and collected as much as possible is the key to making this form of communication a true success.


Identification the name of the baby helps to build identity of baby and gives him or her a sense of awareness.

I remember that I gave many choices of the names to my third child. I asked him to kick when he liked the name. He did not respond to me from 20 weeks to 30 weeks of my pregnancy. I was a bit frustrated initially. Later, it dawn on me the baby might think the name was not suitable for him. Therefore, I asked myself to be more patient. At 31 weeks of my third pregnancy, I had given him a few new choices of name. To my surprise, he responded this time. He kicked every time when I asked him whether he wanted to call himself "Zhi Le" which means wisdom and joy. From then onward, we called him Zhi Le. He was happy to respond to us when we called his name. What I learned from my experience was I needed to be patient and respect his pace and decision.

Introduce the people

You can introduce father, mother, siblings, grandparents and caretakers to the unborn baby. It helps to make him or her more familiar with the people around him or her. You may describe the people whom you introduce to your foetus in detail whenever possible.

For instance, mother says to the baby, "Your daddy's name is Peter. He is tall and wears glasses. He loves to play football and read books. He loves you."

Introducing a proper communication channel or signal, dialogue with unborn baby and introduce the people around baby ease the communication.

Now you can be a confident mother on tips of communication with foetus. But you should have something to share on your tips on communication with unborn baby. Keep practice on these ways and share your finding with others.

Disclaimers: The author shares this article based on her personal and work experience and disclaims any responsibility for any liability, losses or damages and /or application of any of contents of this article.

Three Ways To Communicate With Unborn Baby

Ms Mak Wai Chong, a mother of 3 children, is a freelance trainer and counsellor. She has worked as social worker and counsellor for 17 years. Visit her website at for prenatal training and parenting information and FREE newsletters.

The Novels of Sharon Kay Penman - Historical Fiction Par Excellence

During one of my trawls through the used booksellers was the joy of discovering Sharon Kay Penman's historical fiction novels of early medieval England and Wales. For lovers of medieval history, these are a must.

She brings to her writings an elegance of style, rarely matched, and an ability to absorb the reader into the world she presents.

Stephen King

In the medieval history she presents, the ideas and concepts she proposes, are so acutely drawn that any preconceptions we might have had about some of the characters and events are discarded as we become more attuned to what is presented... allowing us, the readers, to discover a whole new perspective.

Another key element in Sharon Kay Penman's books is her ability not to just humanize people long gone, but to make them come alive by interweaving beautifully depicted stories of the heart - men and women who loved - in the midst of political expediency, betrayal, dynastic imperative and implacable enmity - but never at the expense of historical veracity...realistic fiction at its best.

Such qualities make her novels some of the best historical fiction books available today... very satisfying for a bookworm like me.

The love between: Richard 111 and Anne Neville; Llewellyn the Great and Joanna; Henry 11 and Eleanor of Aquitaine; and others are lucidly told with sensitivity and nuance adding to the drama of the bigger world in which they lived.

Penman's ability as a master storyteller weaves such spells on us, the readers, it makes it hard to return to the 21st century from a 13th century so compelling illustrated and dramatically recreated. Anyone who enjoys historical fiction books will find that adding her work to your must read list won't be wasted.

Engrossing is perhaps the best word to use about her books. They are some of the best books to read.

The Sunne in Splendour (1982)
This historical novel vividly narrates the story of Richard 111 - the last Plantagenet King of England - and the author's balanced and objective view makes this a delightful read - about a King whom history has often vilified.

Here be Dragons (1985)
The story of King John, his daughter Joanna and Llewellyn the Great of Wales and the events surrounding their lives - and the struggle to revive an independent Wales. The love story of Llewellyn and Joanna will tear at your heart strings. But make no mistake it is not just a soppy romance yarn - but a stirring tale of momentous events.

Falls the Shadow (1988)
The author presents a tapestry of the events that surrounded the son of King John - Henry 111 - and the clash with Simon de Montfort. Rich in imagery, awash with intrigue, lost hopes and broken dreams, the novel draws us in while never betraying a rigourous adherence to detail and facts.

This trilogy is the place to begin and discover Penman - a journey through those top selling books is well worth your time and one which you will want to continue.

The Reckoning (1991)
Follows on with Henry 111 and introduces his son Edward 1 and Llewellyn ap Gruffydd. It is the continuing story of another Llewellyn's attempts to build a free Wales this time pitted against the ruthless Edward (called Longshanks) - the nemesis of Braveheart

When Christ and His Angels Slept (1995)
Returns to the period immediately before King John - to the civil strife that resulted from the clash between King Stephen and the Empress Maude - claimants both to the Confessor's throne. It also introduces Henry 11 and Eleanor of Aquitaine - Henry who inherits what his mother Maude could not win. This was an England torn apart by the ambitions of the Maude and Stephen.

Time and Chance (2002)
The sequel to 'When Christ and His Angels Slept' recounts the magnificent, yet stormy, love story of Henry 11 and Eleanor of Aquitaine and the events they presided over - the rise to power of Henry; her first marriage to Louis of France; her subsequent joining with Henry; the murder of Thomas Beckett.

The Devil's Brood released in October 2008

Just an update: it is now February 2010 and Sharon is busy with the next novel about the Plantagenets "Lionheart" - this is due mid year (hopefully).

The Novels of Sharon Kay Penman - Historical Fiction Par Excellence

If you liked this aryicle and want to read about other great authors of historical fiction
Then go to my personal site for More Historical Fiction Writers

I have updates on my blog ate
Peter Damien Ryan

10 Possible Reasons Why You're Having Trouble Getting Pregnant And 10 Ways To Increase Your Chances

So you want to get pregnant? You may be wondering what's taking so long. "Why does it seem so difficult?" you may ask. "Why can't I seem to get pregnant?"

I had all these questions and more. I wanted to know how to get pregnant fast.


First, let's talk about the odds of getting pregnant in any given monthly cycle. One study cited a couple's chance of getting pregnant within the first month of trying at about 25%, while 60% will get pregnant within 6 months, 75% within 9 months, 80% within 1 year, and 90% of couples get pregnant within 18 months of trying.

Now let's talk about the factors that may be affecting your fertility and your partner's fertility. In other words, what's hindering your chances of getting pregnant fast?

Here are the 10 most likely causes of infertility issues followed by some conception tips to help increase your odds of getting pregnant faster.

1. Smoking. If you or your partner smoke cigarettes, this will greatly hinder your trying-to-conceive efforts. Women who smoke are 60% more likely than non-smokers to be infertile.
Medical research indicates that egg depletion and sperm damage caused by smoking is the cause for this decrease in fertility. Smoking is very bad for your health anyway, so this should give you a worthwhile incentive to quit for your own health and those around you. An unborn baby is at a high risk for many complications if the mother is a smoker. Also, if your partner smokes around you, you are affected by the second-hand smoke, which is very harmful as well. Remember that with over 2,000 different chemicals in tobacco smoke, not one of them is nutritious or enriching for you or your baby.

2. Illicit Drug Use or Alcohol Use. This may seem like a "no brainer" for most of us, but some women and men need to be reminded that illicit drug use is a no-no for those trying to conceive. Marijuana use specifically suppresses hormone production, which can cause decreased sperm count and possible erectile dysfunction in men and irregular periods in women. Alcohol in moderation may not significantly affect fertility, but if you want to definitely increase your chances of getting pregnant sooner rather than later, it's best to avoid alcohol completely (both the woman and the man).

3. Caffeine Intake. Caffeine is believed to reduce fertility. It also is believed to be risky during pregnancy with an increased risk of miscarriage with more than very mild use. Caffeine's
effect on fertility and pregnancy is controversial - some believe it to be harmful in even small
quantities and others believe it is fine with moderate use (up to three cups of coffee per day). But why take a chance, especially if you want to conceive quickly and avoid a potential miscarriage? Caffeine is in chocolate, coffee, tea, and most sodas. Even decaffeinated coffee and tea (black and green) has a small amount of caffeine, so be aware of this when drinking. If you truly want to get pregnant more quickly, you should give up caffeine altogether for a better chance of increasing fertility. If it's too hard and you have a caffeine addiction, then wean down gradually in order to make it easier on yourself.

4. Poor Diet. What you eat or don't eat is crucial to your overall well-being and
reproductive health. Getting pregnant is a complex process, one that requires many different body organs and glands to function properly to have proper hormonal balance and functioning. Most people don't get the recommended daily allowance of fruits and vegetables and water per day. This is very basic, but it's crucial to pay attention to in order to help increase your fertility and your chances of getting pregnant more quickly. Eat lots of green leafy vegetables (leaf lettuce, kale, collard greens, etc.), whole grains (oatmeal, whole grain breads, brown rice, etc.), raw nuts (almonds, Brazil nuts, walnuts, cashews, etc.), and a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables. Organic is best, and fresh is better than canned or processed. (Note that Brazil nuts are especially good for sperm health).

5. Lack of Exercise. If you're sedentary, get moving. It will help you feel better, lose
weight if needed, and will improve your fertility and chance of getting pregnant. Walking, swimming, biking, or aerobics are great forms of exercise. Do something that you enjoy, and it will be easier to keep up. Exercise at least 3 times a week for 20-30 minutes at a time.

6. Obesity or Being Overweight. If your BMI is greater than 25, you are considered overweight and are prone to health risks. A BMI of 30 or more is considered obese. Avoid fad diets or skipping meals. It has been proven that starving yourself only makes things worse. Do eat, but eat smaller portions more often, and cut out the junk food. Start slowly if you need to,
but definitely start.

7. Stressful Lifestyle. If you have a stressful work environment, consider changing
jobs. Stress will not only affect your fertility, it will affect your overall health and place you at greater risk for heart disease and many other health problems. Also, do what you can to relax often (at least once a day). Practice deep breathing to help relieve stress. What I do is inhale as deeply as I can with my mouth closed. Then I exhale slowly through my mouth. This is an instant stress reliever for me. Try it and see what it does for you! Another stress reliever can be a leisurely walk, especially if it's something you enjoy and is in a beautiful environment. Go with your mate and use it to catch up on events of the day or just to dream of your future together. A warm bath can also be a great stress reliever, just don't make it too warm, especially for the males, as it could affect sperm quality and quantity.

8. Advanced Age. Advanced age is widely considered to be age 35 and older. Women who are 35 years old and older do have somewhat of a disadvantage when trying to conceive. It is said that a female is born with the total amount of eggs she will have her entire life. Thus, at age 35 and beyond, her eggs are considerably "older" than they were in her 20's, making it more difficult
to conceive. That said, those of us who are older need to be even more diligent to be optimally
healthy in order to increase our changes of getting pregnant faster. Men can be affected by age as
well, especially as libido tends to decrease with age. I have found maca to be a wonderful libido enhancer and also fertility promoter. It is said to improve the quality of a woman's eggs as well. I believe it helped me to get pregnant at 39 and carry my beautiful, perfectly health baby boy to full term.

9. Poor Intercourse Timing. In order to conceive, a couple needs to have intercourse
near the woman's ovulation time - the closer the better. If a couple just has intercourse "whenever", their chances of getting pregnant are not as good. Especially for the older couples in their late 30's to 40's, timing is crucial to getting pregnant faster. To get the timing right, you need to determine your ovulation date.

I like to track my cycles by using a basal thermometer. This thermometer is different from the
regular thermometer used to determine a fever. A basal thermometer is an ultra-sensitive thermometer that tracks your body's most minute temperature shift and helps you calculate
ovulation. Another means I like for determining ovulation date is an ovulation predictor kit (OPK) . There are two kinds - the urine strips and also the fertility monitors. The strips are like a pregnancy test stick, only they measure LH (or luteinizing hormone) instead of HCG (the pregnancy hormone). The fertility monitors use saliva to determine your most fertile period by showing a ferning pattern when you're most likely to conceive.

10. Physical Issues. There are many physical issues that can hinder your chances of
getting pregnant. Eating right, exercising, losing weight, and quitting bad habits can greatly help to heal many of these conditions. Sometimes medical intervention is necessary, though. These conditions can include irregular menstrual cycles, anovulation (lack of ovulation), PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), endometriosis, low sperm motility or mobility, low sperm count, or luteal phase defect, among others.

I suggest that you get some prenatal tests done for you and your partner. If you've been trying
to get pregnant for six months or more, especially if you're 35 or older, see a reproductive endocrinologist. He or she will help you to decide which testing is best for you and your partner. Semen analysis will most likely be helpful to determine sperm health. And the woman's symptoms
will help to determine what tests are performed for her. Prenatal testing is very beneficial even if you want to get pregnant naturally. If you know what your condition is, you're more likely to be able to overcome it.

If this article has helped you, please consider sharing it with someone you know who would
benefit also.

10 Possible Reasons Why You're Having Trouble Getting Pregnant And 10 Ways To Increase Your Chances

Sally Moran helps women to increase their fertility and get pregnant more quickly at Getting Pregnant Fast -

Baby Thank You Wording - 4 Thank You Note Samples


Baby Thank You Wording - 4 Thank You Note Samples

At a loss for words? Feel free to copy and paste any of the baby thank you wording to add to your after baby shower thank you cards. Lots of examples for baby shower wording can be found at Thank You Note including examples of baby christening thank you notes.